This article was originally published for a brief time on LifeSite News. It is republished here...

Supporting Priests While Protecting Children
From Pedophiles 

By grasping the idea of who a priest is and why God instituted the priesthood, fostering strong family bonds and committing to some common sense rules for the family, parents can go a long way in keeping their children safe. 

Kathleen Bowen

Wed. May 1st, 2024 St. John Vianney, pray for our priests! It’s always with great disgust and deep sadness when we hear of pedophile priests abusing boys. Obviously the priest is not normal nor acting on normal desires when he commits this crime. I pray for the victims and for the priests who’ve committed such evil acts. It goes without saying that this evil is not the fault of the victim, nonetheless, fathers and mothers can protect their children from pedophile priests. By grasping the idea of who a priest is and why God instituted the priesthood, fostering strong family bonds and committing to some common sense rules for the family, parents can go a long way in keeping their children safe.  I suspect that many Catholics don’t realize the boundaries they should respect when it comes to their relationships with priests. Crossing these boundaries doesn’t create a problem per se but observing a degree of decorum can help protect children from pedophiles, all while demonstrating esteem for good priests.

To begin to understand why priests deserve the highest level of respect all one needs to consider is why a priest’s hands are anointed.

When a priest pours the regenerative waters of baptism over our foreheads, his anointed hands make us children of God and wash our souls clean of original sin. He raises his anointed hands over us in absolution forgiving our sins in confession. Under the unhappy instance of mortal sin his anointed hands save souls from eternal damnation.

Most wonderfully, it is a priest’s anointed hands that makes Christ present on the altar making available the Food for our soul. When our life comes to an end, it is the priest’s anointed hands that anoint our senses in order to prepare us for our final journey, the journey to heaven. 

When one considers the sublime mission of a priest, namely to save souls and reconcile us to God, a realization that he’s not the same as other men takes root. He is a man set apart, an alter Christus. We must treat our priests with a higher level of esteem than is common in our day. 

There are some practical ways we can do this. We can address them by their last name rather than their first name, unless of course they are a religious.

I knew a priest who saw the value in this. He began calling his brother priests by Father followed by their last name. He met with resistance to this idea which means he was probably on the right track. I’ve never had a priest correct me for using his last name when everyone else uses his first name. I think this first name business comes down from the diocesan level.

Another thing we can do is refrain from putting a priest on the spot to answer controversial questions in front of a group. Sometimes people do this to add weight to their own stance on a particular controversy. This is never wise and is always disrespectful. This happens a lot when Traditional Catholics want to convince others not to go to certain religious orders’ Masses. 

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We must always dress appropriately in the presence of a priest.

If we are working in a parish it is okay to wear work clothes but we should always follow Christian modesty guidelines when we are with priests even if we are weeding the flower beds.

I went to visit a Catholic university campus once and was really shocked to see the female students wearing casual beach attire around the Jesuit professors as we all walked about campus on a hot spring day. The offending ladies probably wear less to the beach but it was what I’d wear to a beach. And I wouldn’t invite a priest to a beach.

Being overly chummy with priests is another mistake people make. Priests find camaraderie in their brother priests not in their parishioners. This one is especially important to our current conversation. We don’t need to be best friends with the priest. It is best to remember that church is not a popularity contest, but rather a place to go to receive the sacraments.

In a similar vein the parish priest is not the head of our households. People shouldn’t go to the priest with problems that they could just as well solve with their husband or wife.

Matrimony sanctifies spouses.

Everyday problems that we face as couples should be addressed with prayer and honest conversation. For normal issues that arise in family life, couples have the graces to solve these problems together. I am obviously not talking about serious problems that do need a priest’s guidance. I’m referring to the mundane commonplace problems that arise in family life.

There are some common sense rules that all fathers and mothers can make to keep their children safe from pedophiles.

Children should not go to confession in face to face confessionals. Traditionally built confessionals keep children safe, and they keep good priests safe from false accusations. Unless confession is out in the open air, I don’t allow my children to use a make-shift confessional. 

If children go to camps, a trustworthy family member should go along as a chaperone. I have gone to great pains to accompany my young children to sports practice, altar boy training, choir practice, you name it, even play practice. Until my children are old enough to tell a pedophile, “Get a life, buddy,” I’ll be there to send that message. This is the world we live in, and we cannot be naive in this matter.

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And finally, why not homeschool? Homeschooling effectively educates children and does much to protect them from the evils of the world.. Mothers now have endless resources and can give their children an excellent Catholic education at home. If a child is sent to a boarding school, consulting references is very important.

If the school has a bad reputation of any sort, don’t send them. It isn’t worth the risk. No matter what activity your children are participating in, parents need to recognize red flags and trust their instincts. If something feels wrong, they should discontinue the activity.

Which brings us to the final point. Strong families are the surest safeguard against sexual abuse because pedophiles don’t groom children from strong families. Fathers and mothers who have made strong families constantly tie heartstrings with their children. This is done over the course of years by giving children attention, love, and a sense of security.

Quantity time is more important than quality time in this regard.

Time spent day in and day out caring for the needs of children is a sure way to tie heartstrings. As children mature it is also imperative to have open and honest discussions with them about all the issues that threaten families today.

If we all start doing these things, we will be well on our way to protecting our children from the horrible crime of pedophilia that plagues the world and even the institutions of the Church. It is pretty clear that the laity are going to have to protect children because there are no obvious changes taking place in the institutional Church.